Examples+of+Excellent+History+Writing+20th+C


 * Here are a few examples of __excellent topic sentences__ from the last test. Thanks to the students who allowed me to post their work!**

> > //What I like about this topic sentence:// //__the author is very specific__ (citing the blitzkrieg and the scorched earth policy) and the __author includes some analysis in the the sentence__ (citing the level of effectivenss and brutality). This is a much stronger topic sentence than writing There are several major components of fighting in Western and Eastern Europe. > > Strive to be specific and analytical in your history writing!// //2.// Three major turning points in Western Europe, Eastern Europe and the Pacific that all shifted power, hope and control for the Allies were the Battle of Britain, the Battle of Stalingrad and the Battle of the Coral Sea.
 * 1) The major components of fighting in Western and Eastern Europe, the blitzkrieg and the scorched earth policy, were both strategic military methods for World War II because of their level of effectiveness and brutality.

//What I like about this topic sentence: __the author is very specific(__ citing the three specific battles) and __the author includes some analysis in the sentence__ (citing that all three battles shifted power, hope and control). Including this analysis gives the writer a specific point to refer back to in the paragraph. Later in the paragraph the author can write, "The Battle of Stalingrad shifted the balance of power back in favor of the Allies because the Germans, in using so many resources unsuccessfully here, meant they had far fewer resources to put towards the defense of Normandy and D-Day."//

3. The major components of fighting in Western and Eastern Europe consisted of a nation's will to survive and the personal rivalries of the leaders.

//What I like about this topic sentence:// //__the author clearly incorporated his own independent thought into this assignment.__ While we touched on the personal rivalries of Hitler and Stalin, he made further connections and included those in his paragraph.//

4. Discuss 3 problems nationalist, post World War II African nations faced. Give examples from history to illustrate the problem.

FHS Emily wrote:

Following the conclusion of WWII, nationalist African nations seeking self determination, complete independence and equality were impeded by several problems due to the white minority power that had caused internal conflicts for decades. In the Beligian Congo, Moise Tshombe seceded from Congo into his own state because of the ethnic differences. However with UN intervention his group was forced back into the Congo. In Nigeria, due to religious and ethnic differences, nationalists seceded into Biafra, creating a bloody civil war. The standard of living was also a huge problem for nationalists because in many third world countries, such a Angola, many Africans were dying from disease, malnutrition and starvation at a young age. However, the most troubling problem was the racial segregation of apartheid that the white government enforced violently. This was mainly a problem in South Africa in which many black African protests resulted in police gunfire into crowds. The problems of the post war era made it nearly impossible for nationalists to fight for reform and ultimately independence.

//What I like about this answer: The student did an excellent job of giving specific examples and showing how that example illustrates the problem.//